i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
