isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
