Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
