i just google imaged poop.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
