So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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