so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
