This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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