Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize