at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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