where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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