This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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