Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
