I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
