My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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