I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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