how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
