Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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