Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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