bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
