I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
