Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
