at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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