I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We talked him into tasing himself.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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