Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
