If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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