i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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