I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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