Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
