So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
