just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
