why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
