now i know why i became what i already was.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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