Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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