Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
