think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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