is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
