Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
