i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
