try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
