It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
