I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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