I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
