perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
