Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
