I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
