I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
