I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
