Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
