How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
