her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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