And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
