Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
