Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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