she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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