What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
