My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
