By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
