The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
